A Normal Life?

"Do you think your son will ever have a normal life?"

I have been asked this a few times.  I smile and say, "What is normal?"  I have seen so many children come in with their mothers for therapies or doctors appointments and sit, sadly, while they wait to be called back. I have heard mothers tell their children with speech issues to be quiet so no one hears them speak.  I have seen parents criticize their children, point out their flaws, and expect perfection from them. (Spoiler alert: Jacob and I aren't perfect so there is no way our gremlins are going to be perfect.)

Alex will talk loudly to his brother in public.  He doesn't care who hears him and quite frankly, neither do I. This boy didn't talk until he was 3 and now he talks non-stop -- understand him or not, I say let the boy talk!  He happily makes jokes and plays with his sister in the waiting room.  When his therapist comes out to get him he will pretend not to see her and an ornery smile will creep across his face.  If he is looking at a magazine he will hold it up over his face and she will say, "Now, where is that Alex?"  He will crack up laughing. Sure, he struggles and life isn't always easy for him, but anyone who knows him knows that he is comfortable in his own skin.  He is an ornery and happy little guy -- issues and all. He has (dare I say) a "normal" life.

"Do you think your son will ever have a normal life?"  I hope not.  I think his life is fairly normal right now.  I mean, sure he has therapies and specialists and he is a special needs child, but we have tried to give him a life as normal as possible. He is not babied and he is expected to do his chores, help around the house, be respectful, try his best . . . you know . . . the usual. ;) We don't criticize or point out his flaws; we don't belittle him or expect him to be perfect. We encourage him every chance we get and we celebrate accomplishments, even small victories. This kid is loved and he KNOWS he's loved.  He's happy and for now that is normal enough for me. I hope that, as an adult, his life isn't just normal, but extraordinary.  I hope his life is filled with success and happiness, because if anyone deserves it, it's Alex.  You can keep your "normal,"  we'll take happiness instead.