So far 2011 has been busy, stressful, and tiring. Alex was emotional about going back to school and I can't say that I blame him. Reality can be difficult sometimes. Monday morning came and the boys were rested and a little more open to the idea of going to school--and they both had good days.
Jacob and I have been focused on doctor's appointments for Alex, appointments to deal with insurance issues, and I am trying to get back in the swing of school, speech, and OT--which isn't as easy as I thought it'd be. I have been on the phone a lot trying to set up appointments, trying to talk to a human and not a computer, and trying to get information so we can get the ball rolling on things that will help us give Alex everything he needs. I'd be lying if I said it hasn't been stressful, frustrating, and at times overwhelming.
I have also been thinking about my mother and grandmother a lot this week. My mother calls to talk about things that go on--she has every right to. My Grandpa Jack was diagnosed with cancer a while back--they did surgery and he was fine, but the surgeon made sure we knew this didn't mean the cancer could come back. It did come back. I am old enough to know that life is not always easy. This event isn't easy for any of us. I remember the strong, laughing, happy, fun man my Grandpa once was. I remember having lunch with him and my grandma every Sunday, spending the night at their place on the weekends and grandpa giving us ice cream late at night after my grandma was asleep. I remember when Alex was born and he had beautiful curly hair and everyone said he looked like my grandpa--My grandpa smiled so big at that! I remember the stories he tells--and I always want to remember these things. I want to hold on to every memory I have of him. It has been hard seeing him so thin and weak as we all just wait. I love my Grandpa Jack dearly--always have. He has always been one of my favorite people. The hardest part for me right now is the questions Alex and Logan have been asking. Alex keeps asking if his Great Grandpa Jack is sick. On Christmas Eve my grandpa eventually had to go lay down and he didn't come out to open gifts with everyone. Logan keeps asking where he was and why he didn't open presents with us. He also asked why he didn't get to tell "Gweat Gwanpa Jack" goodbye when we left. Trying to explain it to my boys has been the hardest part in this whole situation. I am, however, thankful that my boys were given the chance to know my grandfather and Jacob's Pepa. I never knew any of my great grandparents and I love that my boys were given the chance to know all but two of theirs.
I don't like putting "personal" stuff on the blog--and this blog was set up to keep everyone up to date on what the boys are doing. This has been one of the things on my mind this week so I thought I'd take a moment to talk about all the great things about my grandpa.
We are planning to go see him soon and the one thing I look forward to is the smile that appears on his face when he sees my two boys.
One fun thing on my agenda is a fun baby shower for my best friend. Planning it so far has been fun and I know she is going to have a blast when the day rolls around. I'm also excited that she is having a baby and we'll have, yet, one more thing in common.
I hope 2011 is off to a good start for everyone!
Until next time . . .
Such a sweet blog! I really enjoyed all the pictures! I'm looking forward to the shower too! You do realize it will be right after your birthday, so I'm betting you get a gift that day too! I love you!
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