The Countdown Begins

The big thing in the Astley house right now is getting everything we need for school.  Yes, it's that time again.  I can't believe it.  Where did summer go?  Then again, it's too hot for the kids to play outside so they might as well be in school, right?  I let the boys pick out their back packs and lunch bags.  I ordered their tennis shoes for school and they have a closet full of new clothes. The only thing left to get is the actual school supplies. Let me just say that this is the worst part about back to school.  You have this list of 100 different things your children need for school.  The items are so specific that you'll spend an hour standing there, reading the list, and repeating one item at a time as you scan the 10 different types of the same item . . . only to find that that the one item you need isn't there. Do you wait and try again in a few days or do you just buy something else?  It takes forever and then, $100 or so later you have everything your child needs.  Or do you?  Usually I get home and realize there was one thing I didn't get.  School starts two weeks from today.  I'm going to try and enjoy the last few days I have with my boys before we all start school, homework, therapies, and all the craziness that back-to-school involves.

Hoping for a great year for my boys!

Being Different Isn't A Bad Thing

I heard, "Hi, mom," and looked up as Alex walked towards me rubbing his eyes.  He gave me a big hug and said, "Are we staying home today?"  I said, "Well, for a little bit, but you have speech and OT later today."  His voice was shaky as he asked, "Why?"  I said, "Buddy, they help with your speech and help you do things that you're having a little trouble with."  He said, "Okay," and walked into the living room to watch T.V.

A little while later he walked up to me and said, "Mom? Why am I different?"  I asked, "What do you mean?"  He said, "I talk different and Logan can do things I can't.  Why am I this way?"

Alex is an amazing boy.  So much of his time is taken up by therapies and he struggles daily to do things that most children his age have been doing for a long time. He rarely, if ever, complains, which impresses me beyond words.  If I were a 7-year-old and had to walk in his shoes I think I'd be a little grumpy.  I think I might throw a tantrum or two and just beg not to do the therapies. As Alex gets older he is asking more questions.  Logan has the same bone disease and Alex keeps telling us that Logan will need surgery, too.  "If I have surgery and he needs surgery and it's the same thing, why am I different?" 

We talked about how everyone is different in their own way. Alex said, "Yeah, like Logan needs glasses and I don't."  I said, "Exactly" and explained that just because he sees a difference between himself and others doesn't mean it is a bad thing. 

He hugged me so tightly and then, in true little boy fashion said, "Can I have a waffle?" 

I truly believe that this boy is going to do amazing things one day and I'm so proud that I get to call him mine! 

Little Boys' World

As many of you know, Alex and Logan share a room.  Between the two of them there were so many toys and other items and it was just getting messy and cluttered.  I couldn't stand it any longer. So, Saturday we devoted our entire day to the boys' room. The boys helped me carry everything out of their room and we vacuumed and dusted and cleaned.  Then, Jacob came in and moved their furniture around the room.  We organized and got rid of some things and the boys' room now looks a lot less cluttered and well . . . better.  I don't mind walking in there, now.  We were all tired at the end of the day when we finished but the boys were excited about their "new" room.  Here are some pictures of the changes we made.

Fun Changes and Crafts!

This week between running here and there we have been trying to organize different rooms of the house.  Today I focused on the kids/guest bathroom.  Here are some pictures of the bathroom after the changes.

I used green and blue containers because they match the bathroom colors.

A basket on the boys' level with their wash cloths.

Found an old, round basket and hung it as a towel holder in their bathroom. 

Logan's "hot air balloon to space" artwork (framed) and a painting Alex made. 

It looks really cute! 

Logan also helped me paint a flower pot this morning.  It's not perfect but I did it with my 6-year-old and we had fun.  Now we just need to get some flowers to put in it! 

We have some other crafts, etc. we plan to do.  I'll be sure to share those as well. ;) 

Special People

About 9 years ago I took a job at an elementary school in OKC working with special needs children.  There were children in wheel chairs, children with mental disabilities, and children with minor issues.  They were the neatest kids to work with.  I learned that you have to get to know each child and work with them differently.  My mother always told me that she didn't think she could handle having a special needs child, but she thought I was the kind of person who could have a special needs child and be a great mom to that child.  In all honesty, I think if you are given a special needs child you quickly learn to adapt.

My Alex doesn't have anything life threatening.  He doesn't have anything that requires special equipment and he isn't in a special needs class.  Alex's issues are unique.  Jacob and I often talk about how it seems Alex is trapped between two worlds--he is struggling in regular classes and isn't required to do everything the other students do.  He has come to us and told us on more than one occasion that he feels "different" from other children. His little brother can do things he can't and every day Logan will get to play while Alex has special reading homework, special speech homework, special OT assignments, and other activities he is supposed to do in order to help him.  I can't imagine how Alex sees the world.  I can't imagine what it's like to be 7 and have to work twice as hard as everyone else.
I can't imagine what it's like to be 7 and be so persistent and hardworking while your little brother plays.

This morning we had another IEP meeting to add more help for Alex when school starts next year.  One of the sheets we went over stated that Alex could have extra time for tests and homework if he needed it and that teachers were asked to be patient with him and allow him time to answer questions.

I sat at that table surrounded by people who have worked with Alex for years--people who have come to love Alex.  They went on and on about what a sweet boy he is and how they enjoy working with him.  I can't be with my boys every second of every day and I will admit that we worry about Alex more than we worry about Logan.  What if people don't understand him?  What if people ignore him because they can't understand him?  What if some one gets frustrated with him?  What if . . . what if . . . what if . . . the list goes on and on.  It is nice to know that your child is with people who truly care about him--people who know him and his needs and want to help him succeed.  Today, I am thankful for these people--the amazing people who are in my son's life cheering him on, comforting him when he gets overwhelmed, and understanding his special needs.

Thank you for a wonderful school year and for loving my son. You all will always have a special place in our hearts!

This is a picture of Logan at his first birthday party.

Logan on his 6th birthday.

Six years ago today Jacob and I loaded 15 month old Alex into our car and headed to the hospital.  My parents met us there to watch Alex while I went in for a C-Section.  A couple of hours later we met this little guy for the very first time.  Alex was such a quiet baby that it was almost shocking to hear Logan scream.  He hated the car seat and made traveling seem twice as long as he screamed bloody murder from his seat.  Time has flown by.  Now, that loud little baby is a 6-year-old boy with a giant heart.  He is curious about everything and is constantly asking questions--how things work, why things are the way they are, what things mean.  When I was his age I remember listening to music in the car with my parents and liking the music, but never listening to the lyrics.  Logan listens to the lyrics and asks questions about them.  He just such a curious boy.  He wants to help others and cares about the people around him.  It has been a fun adventure watching him grow over the past 6 years.

Logan requested a big breakfast for his birthday dinner so we will be having biscuits and gravy, hash browns, eggs, and sausage for dinner--followed by ice cream to celebrate his special day. He took donuts to school this morning to share with his friends and kept referring to himself as, "The birthday boy!"

Happy birthday to my sweet boy.

Something Different (And Different is Good!)

I had a rough morning with Alex today. He has been sick since Saturday evening and today was the first day this week that he was well enough to go to school. He didn't throw a tantrum--that's not his style.  He did cry though.  He cried and said he would miss me.  He said he didn't want to go. "It's too hard.  I'm not smart and can't do things everyone else can."  When I told him to put on his shoes or brush his teeth he would pretend he didn't hear me. Mornings like this are hard for me.  Part of me wants to tell him I understand and let him stay home, but that wouldn't benefit him at all. I hug him, I let him know that I understand his feelings and concerns, and then I encourage him and tell him how proud of him we are.

Needless to say he was angry with me when I dropped him off at school.

As Alex gets older, days like this happen more often.  He is now 7 and realizes that there is something different about him. When we're in public Logan will talk non-stop.  Alex, however, is always really quiet.  He told me one day that he didn't want people to hear how he talks.  On rare occasions when Alex is in a really good or hyper mood he will talk in public--and Logan will ask why people are staring. I love Logan--I love his outlook on things.  To him Alex is just Alex.  He has always talked that way and he has always done things his own way and that is just who he is . . . he is Alex. I wish we could all see Alex the way his little brother does.

I wish Alex could see himself the way his little brother does.

So, this morning, I stood in the rain and watched my boys walk to the school.  Logan under an umbrella and Alex refusing to use one. Being a parent is a crazy ride.  Being a parent of three children is an even crazier ride, and having a special needs child just adds to the fun.  I would love for things to be easier for Alex, but I wouldn't change him for the world. I look forward to seeing how he turns out--what great things he is going to accomplish! Through all the challenges, therapies, appointments, and little triumphs I have learned a child can do anything--even teach his parents a thing or two about life.