Blessed With Gremlins!

Alex having his eyes checked this afternoon.  He picked out some cool, new specs too!

My calendar has appointments bleeding all over it.  I kid you not.  Most days there is something on the calendar, eye doctor for one child, well child appointment for another, appointments for referrals, evaluations, specialists, surgery, follow-ups.  Our children's appointments keep me busy.

Today, as we waited for Alex to have his eyes examined, he sat in the play area with his little sister and played with her.  He was very helpful. He was very respectful to everyone he encountered, listened to instructions, and answered questions honestly without any goofing off or silliness. He tried on quite a few pairs of frames before finding a cool rusty brown looking pair that he loved.  He looked in the mirror, smiled, and said, "Cool! Mom, can I get these?  Please?"  So, that is what we got.  We walked out to the van, Alex staying close to me as I fought with this little sister who was kicking and screaming because I pulled her away from the giant Mickey and Minnie Mouse dolls in the waiting room.  We got in the van and Alex said, "Thanks, mom."  I said, "For what?"  He said, "For taking us to all these different places to get us what we need like glasses and medicine and stuff like that."  I said, "That's my job."  He said, "I know, but I just want to say, 'thank you."  I turned and smiled at him and said, "You are VERY welcome, honey."  He smiled back, unbuckled (we were still parked in the parking space) and lunged at me, wrapping his arms around my neck and laying his head on my shoulder. "I love you, mom."

Have I mentioned that I love my gremlins?  Even the little ornery one who throws tantrums in public and whacks me with her cast.  LOL  Today I am feeling very blessed to have such amazing kids and very thankful that they DO notice all I do for them (at least some of the time). ;)

Thankful For Caring Doctors!

A year ago this month we were in and out of the ER at Childrens and eventually Kailtyn was hospitalized for breathing complications due to a respiratory virus she had. Her oxygen levels were low and they came in every two hours to give her breathing treatments and check her oxygen levels.  We were all exhausted.  She was 10 months old and I just remember thinking how little she looked in that big hospital bed. Ever since then we have had breathing issues with each and every respiratory ailment--sending us back to the doctor or the ER for breathing treatments.

Kaitlyn last September in the hospital.

Kaitlyn and Jacob during her hospital visit last year.

Kaitlyn and me.

Her breathing hasn't been as bad as it was last September.  Sure, she's needed a breathing treatment here or there but after that she sounded better, felt better, and life went on.
Yesterday Kaitlyn was fine.  She wasn't fussy or acting like she felt bad, she seemed perfectly fine.  I put her to bed last night and she was lovey, telling us all, "nigh nigh" and blowing us kisses.  I tucked her in, turned on her lamp and noise maker and turned off her light and we all went about our business. We had plans to go to OSU and battle the herds of people on game day to do the family fun (face painting, inflatables, games) with the kids.  It might be crowded and stressful but the kids would love it--and that's what is important!

This morning, I heard Kailtyn calling, "Mama!"  She does this every morning but it is usually louder.  I went in her room to get her and she was hoarse, wheezing and breathing very heavy.  My heart sank.  "Not again," I thought.  I took her into our room where Jacob and the boys were reading a book together and just stood there so Jacob could hear her.  He made a disapproving face and said, "Doesn't Urgent Care open early? Maybe you should take her."  I said, "That's what I thought, but wanted to be sure I wasn't overreacting."  I fed her breakfast, dressed her and fixed her hair, and got myself dressed and we went to the doctor's office.  Jacob and I had talked about how they'd probably tell us it was croup or a virus and to just put her in a steamy bathroom--that is what they usually tell us and we end up back in the ER.  I prayed this wouldn't be the case, that the doctor would actually listen and try to do something instead of it just being the same old thing.


Kaitlyn's breathing echoed through the waiting room as we waited.  We didn't wait long, though.  A few minutes after signing in they called her back. Her oxygen levels were low and they agreed she was struggling to breathe.  The doctor was very sweet and very patient--grandmotherly, if you will--and she comforted Kaitlyn and encouraged her.  She got a lot of smiles out of my sick girl this morning.  She ran some tests and gave Kaitlyn a breathing treatment.  We were told that she had pneumonia and her oxygen levels were up to 98, which was much better, but they wanted them at 100.  She prescribed an antibiotic, steroids, and a nebulizer with Albuterol for Kaitlyn.

She told us she wasn't going to let us leave until her oxygen levels were raised. She asked about her hospitalization a year ago and seemed shocked that no one has ever prescribed a nebulizer for Kaitlyn. I was so thankful to have a doctor who listened to us and didn't hurry us out of the office to get to the next patient. They gave Kaitlyn a Strawberry Shortcake sticker and we headed to get her medications filled and get a nebulizer.

We are getting extra cuddles from our busy girl today and we are loving every minute of it.  I am so thankful for the doctor who took the time to listen to me, check out everything she could on Kaitlyn to make a diagnosis and make sure Kaitlyn was breathing better before sending us on our way.  I had this fear in the back of my mind that we would end up in the ER later today, but my fears have subsided since we now have a nebulizer to help our little girl breathe. Because, you know, breathing . . . it's kind of important. ;)

Change The World

In our house music is loved and appreciated, but I have to admit that some of today's popular music isn't kid-friendly.  I have a 7-year-old boy who loves to read everything, asks questions about everything . . . and listens to lyrics in songs and will ask what they mean.  There are quite a few songs out there with lyrics that I don't particularly want any of my children to hear (much less understand).  For this reason, while driving around in the minivan I try to listen to music that is positive.  One of my favorite singers is Britt Nicole.  She has a lot of positive songs that are upbeat and fun--Kaitlyn can dance to them and the boys can enjoy them  . . . and my Logan can listen to the lyrics and hear nothing bad.  We were listening to her today and a song came on called "Still That Girl."

Here is the chorus:

You were young, you were free
And you dared to believe
You could be the girl
Who could change the world
Then your life took a turn
And you fell, and it hurt
But you're still that girl
And you're gonna change this world
Woh oh oh oh oh oh
You're still that girl
You're still that girl
Woh oh oh oh oh oh
You're still that girl
You're still that girl

From the back of the minivan I heard Logan's voice say, "Can this song be for boys, too?"  I looked at him in the rearview mirror and said, "What do you mean?"  He said, "Changing the world?  It says, 'You're still that girl and you're gonna change this world.' What if you're a boy and you want to change the world?"  I said, "Boys can change the world too, bubby."  He said, "I'm gonna be that boy who can change the world." 

I pulled into the school drop off line and as we waited I said, "Logan, I don't know what you're going to be when you grow up, but I can tell you with complete faith and honesty that I know you are going to be some one great and you ARE going change this world."  His smile was so big that it lit up the minivan.  He said, "Mom, everyone could change the world if they'd just do their part.  Grown ups could start with being nicer to each other.  Why don't they care about each other?  And we can give and help people.  There is so much to do."  We pulled up a little farther in the line and he said, "Maybe when I grow up I need to work with grown ups and teach them how to be nice to each other.  The world would be a better place if grown ups acted the way they tell us kids to act."  

All I could do was smile.  We made it to the front of the line and he opened the door to hop out of the van.  I said, "Have a good day, bubby.  Listen to your teacher, make good choices, and be a friend!"  He said, "I will, Mama!  I'm going to make some one happy today."  

This kid blows my mind sometimes.  No, he isn't perfect.  He has moments where he cries when he doesn't get his way and he asks for toys and candy and things just like other kids--he has spent time in the time out spot, had privileges taken away for bad behavior--he IS a normal kid, but he is an emotional kid and he cares about people. He is a boy who thinks A LOT and feels A LOT and sees A LOT going on around him. What he said really stuck with me because he's right.  Grown ups say one thing and then go gossip about people behind their backs, they think they are better than others, we take instead of giving and we beat each other down instead of lifting each other up.  

So, grown ups, have YOU made some one happy today?  What are you doing to change the world?  

I have no doubt that this boy is destined to do great things and I can't wait to see what the future holds for him! 

An Ordinary Day Can Be A Super Day!

My sweet Kaitlyn has been snotty, fussy and just not feeling that great the past couple of days.  This morning I woke up at 5:30 because she was crying and the sound of it was blaring from the baby monitor.  She will fuss from time to time early in the mornings and then go back to sleep, but this cry sounded like her "Something is wrong," cry.  I quickly got out of bed and hurried to her room.  Once inside she gathered up her lovey, two blankies, and a book and I picked her up.  We sat in the recliner for a while in the quiet, dark, living room and just watched the pictures on the digital frame.  It was nice to just sit and hold her.  I rubbed her leg and she started rubbing my arm.  She would look up at me, snot running from her nose, and smile.  After a while I put her back in her bed and she went back to sleep.

Because I was up so early I had extra time to do some extra things for the boys. Surprising them is one of my favorite things to do. I made scrambled eggs and toast for them.  By the time their alarm went off and they stumbled out of their room rubbing their eyes I had it ready. They were both excited about the surprise and sat down at the bar to eat.

I also took a dry erase marker and wrote, "Have A Super Day!" on the front door.  When they opened the door to head to school they saw it.  Logan said, "Hey! Look!"  As a mom it's nice to do little things to make them smile and let them know that you love them and hope they have a great day.

Sometimes life gets stressful.  Having three kids can be stressful--one is crying, one is yelling for you from across the house . . . but, for the most part, I just feel blessed that I get to call these three gremlins mine.  I am thankful for little things like getting to surprise them with breakfast and leaving notes on the door that make them smile and feel special.  Because, truth be told, being their mom makes me feel special each and every day.

Thoughts From a 1-Year-Old

I'm Kaitlyn. This week I will be 19 months old.  My parents watch me climb on an old suitcase that belonged to my great grandfather and talk as if I'm giving a speech.  They laugh and talk about how I'm telling my life story.  They think they're so funny.  What is it with adults?  I'm trying to tell them important things--answers to all the world's problems and all they do is smile and tell me how cute I am.  I know I'm cute, but I don't find it cute that you aren't smart enough to understand the important things I try to tell you.  I climb down, smile, and walk towards them. "Maybe this will work," I think. I grab their hand and say, "Come with me," but those adults--all they hear is gibberish. I sigh and shake my head.  I lead them to my room and jump in my tent to talk to them one on one.  They start playing peek-a-boo with me and I completely lose focus and start giggling. Let's face it, peek-a-boo is the best game ever!

There are two smaller people that live with us--big brothers.  They are always wanting to hug on me, pick me up or help me do things.  I get so mad at them.  I slap at them, push them away, and scream.  I don't want their help.  I want to do things on my own.  I'm not a baby, you know. I do like it when they read to me or chase me around the house playfully. The bigger one lets me sit on his lap and we watch cartoons together.  I'm just discovering how much I like cartoons. I have to keep those brothers in line so while we're all sitting together eating dinner I point my finger at them and say, "EAT!" If I drop a toy or lose a ball and can't reach it I will get their attention, point to the item I want and say, "Go, go, go" and they will get it for me.  They are my servants and they do what I ask and give me what I need.  This is my kingdom and I rule it with pleasure.

At the end of the day my mom asks, "Do you want to go night-night?"  I shake my head and say, "Uh-uh."  Of course I don't want to go "night-night."  Have you completely lost your mind?  I want to keep playing. Why do they always ask me stupid questions?  They ask a question and then when I answer they have no idea what I'm saying.  It is so frustrating that at times I find myself stomping my feet, throwing myself on the floor, and crying.  I yell, "Why are you all so slow in the head?"  As usual, they have no idea what I'm saying.

I do have to admit that they have grown on me.  I love getting hugs from them and I love that my mom gives me snacks that I enjoy.  I love that all of them want to be near me and play with me. I'm just really popular around here--they all want to spend time with me.   My daddy calls me his "little doll" and my mommy says I give the best hugs.  I wrap my arms around you and squeeze tight and then I pat you on the back.  Okay, okay, I admit it.  I love them all.  I'm happy here.  We just need to work on their language skills.  I'll start that right after this game of peek-a-boo.

"You Scared Me!"

Last night after putting all three gremlins to bed Jacob and I sat outside.  This is something we did often when we were dating and we still enjoy doing it now that we have been together for nearly 13 years. Something about the nighttime sky, the air, the quietness just makes it not only ideal but very romantic, in my opinion.  We sit and look at the stars and talk and just enjoy each other at the end of another crazy day. Instead of sitting on the patio we sat on our bench which is in front of the boys' window.

While sitting there together and enjoying the silence we suddenly heard Alex crying through the window.  I hurried inside to see what was going on.  Alex was sitting on Logan's foot locker and when he saw me he very angrily said, "Where were you?"  I said, "We are sitting outside."  He said, "I was going to tell daddy something and looked everywhere for you and couldn't find you."  Then, in a very stern tone, through tears, he snapped, "You scared me!"  I immediately reached for him and he fell into my arms and cried. I told him I was sorry and reassured him that we love him, his brother and sister too much to ever just leave them. He said, "I know that, but when I couldn't find you it just scared me."

We invited the boys to come sit outside with us.  Logan climbed onto Jacob's lap and Alex sat right beside me, holding my hand, his head resting on my shoulder. They looked at the night sky and asked questions about the stars, the clouds, the lights.  It was a very sweet moment. Jacob has a telescope and told the boys that maybe this weekend he would pull it out and they could use it.

We sat for a while and then, eventually, went back inside since it was nearly 10:00 and Jacob had to get up and go to work this morning.  I tucked the boys in and reminded them just how much I loved them and how happy they made me. As I was leaving the room I heard Alex say, "Mom?"  I stopped, turned and said, "What's up?"  He said, "I know you and daddy would never leave us."  I said, "Well, I'm glad you know that."  Logan said, "Yeah, we know you guys love us more than anyone else in the world." I said, "It's true."  Alex said, "I was just afraid that you were gone.  You know, like something happened or something."  I smiled and said, "You were afraid you would be left here raising your brother and sister?" Both boys started laughing and Alex said, "No!"

I love the closeness my little family has.  I love that Alex and Logan are best friends and that they adore their little sister.  I love that my big 8 and a 1/2 year old boy will still sit with me, hold my hand, and snuggle up to me. I love these kids. I love that they KNOW they are loved beyond what they could even imagine! I love my life--and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world!

The Story of Alex (Apraxia Awareness Day, May 14th, 2013)

When Alex was an infant he didn't cry much; when he DID cry it wasn't very loud. It was a soft, quiet little cry.  As he grew we noticed he wasn't babbling like most babies do. He was just so quiet. Around 18 months, when he still wasn't really babbling we realized something was wrong, but didn't know what.  We talked to Alex's pediatrician and he agreed that it wasn't normal but didn't seem too concerned. We eventually had a speech therapist come to the house a couple of times a week to work with Alex.  Around the age of 3 Alex also started going to one of the local schools for additional speech services.  When Alex was 4 we learned that he was struggling to do more than just talk. He had to work twice as hard as other kids his age to do the simplest tasks. It wasn't until last year that we finally got a diagnosis for Alex.  I remember holding Kaitlyn on my lap while she ate cereal out of her snack container and Alex's therapist pulled out files and paper work, pamphlets and all sorts of information.  She told me that not only does Alex have Childhood Apraxia of Speech (or Verbal Apraxia) but he also has Oral Apraxia and Limb Apraxia.  This condition is still being researched and is referred to by many as a "poorly understood neurological condition." Basically, Alex knows what he wants to say or do, but somewhere between the brain and the muscles the message gets jumbled and it makes it difficult for Alex to do things that even his younger brother can easily do.

I have had people ask me why Alex makes a "silly face" in pictures.  Oral Apraxia is your answer.  This is Alex trying to smile.  Sometimes his smile is perfect and other times he just can't get his muscles to cooperate. What really amazes me about this condition is that children who have it can perform a task over and over with no problem and then one day, suddenly, they can't do the task.  Can you imagine?  Alex gets so frustrated at times and I can understand why.

Experts still aren't certain as to what causes Apraxia.  Many claim it comes from trauma to the brain stem or severe illness before the child is born. About two weeks before Alex was born he started stretching a lot.  He was in the same position but he was moving a lot so I didn't think anything of it.  When we went to the hospital to have Alex they discovered that his head was shoved back and he was stuck. They feared his little neck would break during delivery so they did a C-Section.  He had some breathing issues but nothing major.  I shared this story with one of Alex's therapists one day and her eyes widened and she said, "That could have caused some trauma to his brain stem. I'm not saying that IS the cause, but it could be."  Honestly, it doesn't matter what caused it, all that matters is that Alex is getting all the therapies he needs and is overcoming new obstacles each and every day.

We have heard stories about children with Apraxia who can't talk.  I am so happy to report that Alex CAN talk.  He has trouble moving his tongue and jaw to form words and on rare occasions we have difficulty understanding him, but he is able to communicate and I am so thankful for that.  He has come a long way and we are so very proud of him.  Each day he is presented with new challenges and he just takes it all as it comes. He is our little super hero and today, on the very first Apraxia Awareness Day, we not only want to educate people about this condition, but also celebrate Alex and all he has accomplished.  He is an amazing little guy and this mama could not be prouder!